Start off alone but end up with a friend

So, we can safely say that we have expectations when going on a journey and that we might be disappointed when we don’t find what we came for. This can be just a building that you wanted to see and turns out to be different from what you’ve seen or heard about it, but it might also be a bigger cultural issue that is missing. I’ve found a way to tackle this. Actually it’s not a discovery, but just the way I travel. And this blade cuts on both sides. I find the best way of travelling to be travelling to places where I already know someone. Not in the usual sense of, for instance, couchsurfing, that you want to go to a certain place and afterwards find somebody with whom you can stay. No, I mean having a friend abroad and visiting him or her. This has various advantages. You travel in order to see a friend, and through this friend you will discover the place and get to know the locals. If you then can stay with him or her, you’ve found yourself a perfect deal.

 

First of all, you don’t choose the place, but the place chooses you, so to speak. You don’t only go to places you’ve never been before, but you go to places you normally would never have thought of going to, or even had never heard of. I myself for instance had never thought I would go to Russia, Poland or Slovenia. I would never have come up with it, just because I didn’t know anything about those countries and my interest was directed towards the mediterranean countries. Now I’ve discovered three beautiful countries and different cultures, a whole new world to explore, and I’ve grown a lot as a traveller and as a person. 

 

You won’t have to deal with expectations, research and possible disappointment. You don’t have to go and look for highlights you gotta see or cute places you have to visit: your friend knows a couple of places and those will be your highlights. I’d like to follow the local’s advice, since this way of getting to know a place is so much more personal. Also you will get the chance to see things that tourists (see my article "A life not travelled is a life not lived' for my definition of a tourist) will never see. You will probably meet friends of your friend as well, and get an insight in the local culture and habits. Talking to four people will give you four different stories and four different impressions of the place. Your friend might give you an idea of how the people from that particular country are, but it’s hard to judge by just one person. So you need a bigger sample, and that’s where your friend’s friends come in. Also you might encounter someone who is a big fan of whatever you like too and you end up talking passionately about something all night. You never know who or what you might run into; that something might just change your life. And if you got more friends living in one city and they don’t know each other or have different interest, you might get to see even more places and scenes, and all the above events will be multiplied.

 

Besides that, travelling becomes so much cheaper. I’m not saying that you should stay with a friend BECAUSE of saving money, but it is an advantage, for the both of you. Instead of spending around 20-25 euros a night on a hostel, you can invite your friend for a drink, buy him or her a present or make some other nice gesture. In the long run you can travel way more and longer this way. Instead of going to some place for a week, you can go for two weeks for the same amount of money, that you even get to spend with or on a friend. And hey, who doesn’t wanna spend more quality time, alone or with someone. Check out the Managing Finances section on my blog (address at the end of this article) if you’re keen on the whole money thing.

 

Perhaps one of the most important reasons to stay with a friend is the comfort. The comfort that you got a place to stay, that you know someone who knows the way. Someone of which you can be sure will make your time worthwhile, because he or she knows where to take you, what to do around town and how the local system works. Basically you can just sit back and relax. All you have to do is telling your friend your preferences and follow. This might sound a bit lame on first sight, but I’ve done both in equal situations (both travelling to a European capital city) and I’ll tell you why I prefer being with a friend. Sitting back and enjoying the ride gives you the advantage of not having to think about where to eat tonight, how to get back home, what to visit and how to get there, or spending your money right (you don’t know the good places). All the energy you would normally spend on all that, you can now spend on your friend, on your surroundings, the people you meet through your friend (not having to worry about getting contacts for the next meet-up or about trust), and just inhale the spirit of the place you’re at. If you’re alone, you’re gonna find that one city doesn’t differ much from another and you might get the feeling that next to a couple of special buildings or nature sights you haven’t experiences that much new. And that’s right, cause differences are to be found in the people and the inside scoop of the culture you find yourself in, not in a couple of buildings that might have a different shape than those in your hometown. And trust me, as a social person and experienced traveller I can tell you that you’re probably not gonna make any friends the first day, or the second for that matter. Maybe the last day you might run into someone that is actually interested in you for more than a couple of minutes and doesn’t have his own local stuff to do.

 

Of course staying with a friend doesn’t mean you have to be together 24/7. Although your friend is probably more than happy to have you over, he or she has got stuff to do as well, and you might wanna check out some things yourself or do a little bit of exploring. Exploring and getting to know a place better is best done alone, because then you can focus just on your surroundings, remember the way (I always get lost when I’m with somebody because I can’t shut up and as a result I don’t pay attention to the road), and take a picture here and there. Depending on the person, it might actually be a good idea to consider doing something by yourself one day. You might not expect it, but people can get unwillingly and unexpectedly irritated if they are around the same person for too long. It’s not because you don’t like them, but it’s just a thing to watch out for. Take it as a rule of thumb if you will. I’ve experienced this kind of irritation a couple of times after spending time with somebody for too long, and that’s just a pity, because it doesn’t have to be like that. On the other had, a couple of times it was amazing to be with the same person all the time and I wouldn’t wanna spend my precious time there alone. I guess it really depends on what kind of person you are, what kind of person your friend is, and the situation. You don’t have to keep any strict rules in your mind, just remind yourself of it when you feel something doesn’t feel entirely comfortable but you cannot figure out what. Just casually mentioning to your friend, ‘hey, I think I’m gonna check out the place and take some pictures, see you in a few hours allright?’ is fine. And I presume that if you have a fun friend somewhere, you wanna keep coming back, right?

 

So my advice when travelling, most of the time, is go visit a friend. It’s the most fun, comfortable and efficient way of travelling and you get to know places more in-depth. The reason I say ‘most of the time’ is because I’m talking about Western and European countries: travelling around India, for instance, is a whole different story. On this topic there’s more coming up on my blog, www.diegomallien.com/en. I had never expected it, but because I travel the way I’ve told you here, I’m running around Europe now, not knowing whom to visit when and how, only limited by time and money.