“Even though many doubted in my relationship with a Turkish guy, I am glad that I didn’t give up because now I couldn’t be happier,” wrote Clara Mevželj Özaj in her blog. She’s a Slovenian traveller who found a new home in the Turkish metropolis.
Everything began with innocent trips to Istanbul. After that followed visits to the city for love, which turned out to be the main reason for Clara’s moving. She knew she could trust her boyfriend and could build a future with him. They have similar views on the world and values, they are both adaptable and open-minded. There was no reason why they couldn’t make the next step in their lives.
Of course, they would rather see me moving back home. My uncle keeps asking me, jokingly, when will I return. My mother has stopped asking me this but she still sometimes gives me hints that she would rather have me in Slovenia. Despite that, I think all those first doubts and worries disappeared after they saw that I am happy with my new life here.
People and unbelievable energy of the city. The city is constantly on the move, people are very warm-natured, homely and temperamental. When I studied in a small town near Istanbul, I was coming back to the city on a daily basis. It is hard to explain, but the warmth and the feeling of home took over me each time we found ourselves in the notorious traffic jams of Istanbul. The city is chaotic and overcrowded but that wakes me up and fills me with energy. Of course, this can sometimes also be exhausting, however, it seems I overall function better in that kind of environment.
It’s true, life abroad is not only a bed of roses. Otherwise, I did not face such big challenges that would change my feelings for this country, but still, it was not easy. Especially at the beginning, when I was creating and building a life in the new environment. One of the biggest challenges was certainly the local language, my lack of knowledge of it, and consequently the loneliness and isolation. Before moving, when I was travelling to Istanbul for shorter periods, sometimes for a month or two, I could get really bored. Everyone worked all day, so I spent most of my time alone, I knew only a few English speakers and I didn’t know other expats. I usually worked at least two jobs besides studies in Slovenia, so I was not used to sitting around and doing nothing.
Then there were the cultural differences and the challenges associated with that – gender segregation, a different way of doing things in the society, a different pace and different habits. You learn everything instantly, especially through mistakes. Turkish women are very sympathetic and nice, but I found that we were quite different and I missed the company of girls who thought like me. Eventually, I made close friendships with girls living here who are from other European countries.
There are quite a few expat organisations and communities in Istanbul. Among them is also the Istanbul Expat Community, a relatively new, not-for-profit organisation founded over three years ago. It works primarily to support expats in Istanbul and anyone who wants to move there. In addition to being a source of information in the English language, it also provides support for a variety of challenges with managing life in the city, and regularly organises various activities and meetings for expats. Considering that the organisation is not monetary oriented and is driven by volunteers, I can say that we are quite active.
My role is primarily to write articles and news, to share information with other volunteers and help facilitate Facebook groups. New projects are also planned in the future, such as video recording of the city, interviews with expats, etc.
I started writing about a year and a half ago. I made the first posts with my family in mind. Instead of long letters to each one, I opened a blog and published something that would give them a better insight into my life here. The following contributions were then written in response to frequent questions by tourists about Turkey and, in particular, Istanbul. Because of that I then gathered the courage to start sharing blog posts on social networks as well.
I have to say that writing a blog is also a personal challenge for me since I don’t like to expose myself and I very much value privacy. I always believed that one should live life to the fullest and that nothing would happen on its own. If you always wait, life will pass you by. I've taken that into account everywhere, except when it comes to exposing myself in public, which I have a great fear of. However, the blog experience has shown me how much positivity can happen when you dare to step out of the shadow. It turned out to be a great decision, as I met many wonderful people through the blog, productivity and creativity have increased, and new opportunities are opening up for me that would not otherwise. One of these opportunities is also a chance to tell my story, my own thoughts. Everyone needs a channel through which they can express themselves. I collect thoughts through writing, and I also learn a lot by finding and gathering information for tourists. By no means do I imagine myself to be a good writer; above all, I enjoy writing and developing my writing skills.
You got it right! One of the reasons why I travel less than I used to is that most of my finances and free time are spent travelling home. And it is also true that since I am in Turkey, I no longer have such a strong need for travel. Istanbul is a metropolis where a lot is going on, where people with different cultural backgrounds and experiences live.
Recently, though, I've been a bit more tempted to go on a trip again. However, more than travelling, I have a desire to live in different countries. It seems to me that all my past travels have been a wonderful experience, but very superficial. You can't see and learn much about a country in a week or so. In Turkey, even after years of living here, I keep discovering new things.
For sure. But that doesn’t mean that someone who does not travel does not grow or learn. Everyone has a chance and ability to continually improve if they want to. Even books are a true window to the world. However, travel experiences are very intense and extremely valuable.
I have learned patience, calmness, and flexibility in situations where I am placed beyond my comfort. That the expression of emotions has purifying power. The latter may come naturally to some, I obviously had to go to Turkey to loosen up. I learned to look at the world from a different perspective and a new language with a completely different logic. Now I know how to enjoy living alone and how to enjoy living in a larger community. That it's OK to live an unconventional life, in fact, this may even be normal. That social norms and normality are a very relative concept. That the world is not black and white, that the media is very biased and has a big influence on public opinion. Something I already knew, but have now also experienced first-hand. Every country and society has its good and bad sides. When you find out where you are feeling well and what kind of life is best for you, everything becomes much easier.
Go well prepared and be open to everything.
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